Wednesday, September 26, 2007


Without question, the biggest news from the past week is that I lost my black toenail. The whole thing just came right off one afternoon leaving an ugly, and now undisguisable, toe with no nail:). We captured the event on video so it just might be a youtube hit in the near future. You never know!

Second to that, I suppose, is the job! I was hired at Meritcare's Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. At the interview I knew that I would love the position, and was even more convinced after touring the unit and meeting some of the staff. The reason NICU seemed like the best option is because it's a wonderful combination of challenging nursing which will really stretch me while at the same time being constantly relational. What more could I want from a job? My start date is October 15th. Not far away! I am happy about all of it because I know that it is right. It is probably not what I would consider my heart's desire, but it is what God's will is for me right now, and it IS my heart's desire to follow Him! After accepting the job this afternoon, I needed to grieve a little bit. The decision has been made... I'm not going back to Africa in January. STILL HARD?! Yes, still hard. It is almost a full moon tonight, and stepping outside into the brightness reminded me of tired but joyful nights under the moon in Mozambique. I remember walking in the dark, gazing up, never wanting to leave my place on the log, feeling happier than I ever thought a person could feel. Then the guards would walk by and shine their spotlight into my face, and chuckle. They must have wondered what it was about the night that I loved so much.

But being at home definitely has its perks, and I feel blessed! Today I spoke to a Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) group. Of course I am not a mother of preschoolers, but since I want to be one someday, they let me in:). It was fantastic! They wanted to hear the details of life for mothers in Africa... down to specifics about childbirth (and boy do I have those specifics, haha). Every time I speak, which has been quite often lately, my heart starts aching. God is not allowing it to heal, and He is not allowing me to forget. Mozambique is constantly on my mind... it presses hard. The faces of friends... the laugher of children... the birds that would sing beautiful melodies to each other... the sunrise over the hills... imagining a house in the mango grove. Staying. Maybe someday.

A gift that I truly treasure about being home is having the chance to get to know Sarah, my new sister. I've always imagined being the best of friends with my brother's wife, and God has seen that desire of my heart and blessed it. We have had so much fun! She is beautiful and mysterious and infinite layers deep and full of delightful wit and talent. She is already my encourager, just like Josh, and a joy. Tonight we led worship together at Intervarsity (believe it or not, for several weeks now I have been playing my guitar IN PUBLIC!!) and I think it was the first of many years of doing that. At my grandpa's funeral she was by my side... holding my hand, reassuring, letting me cry. She is also an irreplaceable ally in my SLIGHTLY incomplete understanding of all things farm-related:). Today when I arrived to help paint their bathroom "sensual silver" (it's an amazing color!) she asked what was new on the farm. I reported that the guy who was supposed to build a very large bin for us a few weeks ago finally let us know that he won't be able to come. My dad and brother have been stressing about this bin for ages. Sarah said, "OH NO!!!" and I loved the fact that though neither of us understood exactly WHY not having the bin built was such a horrible thing, we both just knew that it was, in fact, very horrible.

At any rate, I'm enjoying being here for the early stages of Josh and Sarah's marriage. It's fun to see them just starting up. So I AM glad to be at home and AM experiencing God in new and awesome ways here. I was concerned that I wouldn't "need" God as much being in the States, but that has certainly not been the case. I've needed Him more than ever.

The other night while my brother was still at the farm I persuaded Sarah to help me try hanging up the two person hammock I gave them for a wedding gift. I had my eye on two trees outside their house that I anticipated would be perfect. However, they were too far apart and we didn't have any rope! We attempted to clip the caribeaners onto two flimsy branches of a single tree, and Sarah allowed me to try it out first, as it didn't look very sturdy:). To my dismay I quickly found myself sitting on a hammock on the ground:(. We need some rope and quick.

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