Married Life

Here we are, nearly a month after our wedding and finally getting settled back into a routine. My heart feels so full today I just had to sit down and write about it. Our wedding day was my every dream come true and we savored it all. There was really only one "oopsy" during the ceremony... our sweet nephew Caden took a tumble down the stairs after performing his ring bearer duties like a pro. He was more startled than hurt, I think, and sat down with Grandma and Grandpa. There was also that minute I felt like I might faint during Pastor Jon's awesome message but it wasn't from nerves... my corset was laced a tad too tight:). How did women use to manage wearing those awful things all day? Anyway, after staring at the floor for a few seconds I felt better. Being surrounded by so many people that we love so much while choosing one another for life was just completely amazing. Newlyweds generally start out poor, but we are truly RICH in all the ways that matter.

I love my husband more than I could ever express, even though I now know that he starts snoring when he rolls onto his back at night. He quits when I poke him, so it's not a problem in the least. Unfortunately for him, he has now discovered that I am a bed hog... tossing and turning relentlessly... all night long. No amount of poking can make me quit. I think he is adjusting but maybe he's just saying that to make me feel better.

We had a few days at home before going off on a 7-day cruise of the Western Caribbean... don't even get me started on how fantastic that was. Now we're back home but it's not even sad because I get to LIVE with my BEST FRIEND. That is the best deal of all!!

Not only did I become a wife on September 6th, but I also became "Aunt Ginna". I have been waiting for this title for a long time and couldn't be happier to have it now. On Monday my 5-year-old niece, Autumn, called with some good news.

1. "Mommy is having the baby today."
2. (Said with MUCH more excitement) "I just lost my first tooth!!!!"

What a big week! We have been eagerly awaiting little Austin's arrival, and we now have 3 nieces and 2 nephews. And precious Autumn is down one tooth:).

One of the things we decided to do while on our honeymoon was set some goals and stick to them. We will have a lot more time on our hands now that the wedding is over and we don't want to waste it. Neither of us have been working out... at all... for a very long time. So we set a goal to start going to the gym again 2-3 times a week. We have been back from our honeymoon for almost two weeks and have been to the gym zero times. I, for one, am not at all upset about this. It's not only because I enjoy sitting on the couch more than running on the treadmill (although that is obviously true). As crazy as it sounds, as soon as I stopped running and going to the gym I promptly lost 15 pounds, and I don't want them back!! I'm not trying to promote laziness as an ideal weight loss program but hey, it's worked for me. I think running just makes me excessively hungry and since I run slowly I feel that I am burning more calories than I actually am. Whatever the reason, I have mixed feelings about our fitness goals. Perhaps I'll go to the gym with Steve and just walk from machine to machine, laugh under my breath at how ridiculous people look while exercising, and take lots of trips to the water fountain while my husband gets buff and I will myself to stay thin.

I Failed at Part 2 :)

**Generally I try to reign in my urges to use excessive amounts of exclamation points, but I could not control it today. Sorry about that.**

Oops! I had such good intentions of blogging more thoughts about this engagement season. I have discovered that wedding planning is, in fact, not as simple as I thought it would be and time has gotten away from me. The wedding is on Sunday!!!!!!!! Can I get a WOOP WOOP?!?!?!?!? Being engaged has been fantastic. I have gained so much of a better understanding of what it means to be the bride of Christ, and how diligent I ought to be in preparing for His coming. I have also gained a better understanding of the unsearchable depths of God's love for me through Steve. Our relationship is positively wonderful, but it takes work to keep it that way! It is the same with my relationship with God, yet I am so quick to neglect it. Wasn't His design of marriage such a fantastic idea?! While being a blessing to us, it also points us to Him and creates a deeper dependency for Him.

Like most females, I have spent a good many years dreaming about my wedding. As the day approaches the top 3 things I really cannot wait to experience are...
1) Getting to wear my beautiful dress!!
2) Having the doors of the church open and seeing Steve!! We will both be an emotional mess I am sure.
3) The pronouncement of husband and wife. I know it would not be wise to jump up and down, but will I be able to contain it? Doubtful.

On that note, I need to finish packing before we board our plane for North Dakota tonight! Steve and I covet your prayers, and look forward to seeing many of you this weekend!!!!!!!

Saying I Do - Part 1

Not that anyone is counting, but in 35 days I will be Steve Cross's bride! Though part of me is tempted to fill the rest of this post with the famous cyber smiley faces I will spare you the sappiness... for now. The thought of our rapidly approaching wedding day fills me moment by moment with almost every emotion under the sun. During the past few days we have been working on our vows and this morning I was in tears of reverence as I thought through what they mean. These are no ordinary words! I am committing before God and witnesses that I will take this man to be my husband and love him for the rest of my life as I love myself. Even to put him before me! "Lord, are you kidding me?!" The very idea seems utterly ridiculous. Now don't get me wrong, Steve is a wonderful man. The problem is not with him but with me. The truth is I am painfully in love with my own desires and comforts. Never have I ever loved someone above myself. God's intention for marriage is that the two should become ONE flesh. We all know the sad truth that marriage in our society is suffering. Divorce rates are sky-high and often the marriages that do last are ones of learning to tolerate each other rather than celebrating one another. It seems to me that merely 'surviving' in marriage is no great victory. Call me crazy, but I believe there is so much more. This wondrous design of God can never succeed without His direct enabling and working in us to change us more and more into His likeness. We love because He first loved us, says 1 John 4:19.

In short, for this high calling of marriage I feel inadequate. I desperately need God to strip away the dark and selfish places of my heart and fill me with His love. How thankful I am that in Him there is an endless supply!

More to come...

No Fear

Do you remember the clothing line that was hugely popular about 15 years ago? Everyone walked around with shirts that said "NO FEAR" in all different fonts and colors with graphics of scary looking faces next to the logos. It was a fad much like any other fad (pogs and slammers anyone?). Clearly no one wants to be considered a scaredy cat. But I must admit that I am!

If there is one thing I shouldn't be, it's fearful. God has led me and protected me through so many situations where I shouldn't have felt safe but somehow did. I wasn't afraid in Africa or in Asia or even as a cook in a strip club. Well, not after a couple of weeks anyway. But somehow when it comes to the day to day issues of life I find that I am a complete worry-wart. I worried myself ragged that perhaps I would never meet my handsome prince. Perhaps God would want me to stay single and I would be an old maid missionary. Then God blessed me with Steve and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Beyond my wildest dreams! Then I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to find a job I loved that had good hours, and now I have a wonderful job that brings me great joy... most of the time. There is always something to fear. Recently I have had a couple of difficult patients and started worrying that I could make one mistake and end up losing my nursing license. Then there's children. Steve and I are constantly talking about and praying for the children we long to have. But what if we're like one of the other countless couples who for whatever reason can't seem to conceive? These are just some of the things over which I want to have control and don't. I think the times where it was easiest to have faith in God were the times when I knew without a doubt that my life and well-being was 100% in the hands of God. But isn't that ALWAYS true?

This week I've been thinking a lot about Isaiah 26:3. "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You." No matter what the future holds, my God is in control. I absolutely believe that mentally, and I really want that truth to be planted deep in my soul.

"There is NO FEAR in love. But perfect love drives out fear..." 1 John 4:18

My Lub

On February 14th this year a few of us were playing Valentine Scrabble. Steve and I had tweeked the original rules so that any love-related word yielded a 10-point bonus. Despite my best efforts, I was stuck. One of Steve's roommates came over, peeked at my letters, and quickly pointed out a couple letters that would work. No one gets too uptight when this happens because I am really not much of a Scrabble threat. I was uncertain about the word Sean pointed out but he seemed confident and he is intelligent, so I laid down the letters to form "Lub". Apparently the word he wanted me to spell was "Lube" but I didn't think of that. Steve looked at "Lub", gave me a funny look and said, "what's lub got to do with it"? They gave me the points and even the 10-point bonus and ever since that day Steve and I have called each other "My lub".

Second only to God's saving grace, Steve Cross is the greatest blessing I have ever received. He is the man I used to dream about when I would daydream through Cinderella and Snow White. Because of my "lion" personality, my parents used to wonder what kind of man would be able to handle me. Nobody knew precisely what kind of man I needed, but God did. Steve has a way of leading me that is so strong and so gentle. He is wise and loyal and exceedingly patient. At times when he could get really irritated he stays calm and just loves me. The love he offers is such a beautiful picture in the flesh of the way Christ loves me.

We met "randomly" on August 15th of last year while I was passing through Colorado Springs. I was driving from Texas to Montana to start a travel nurse contract and met up briefly with my friend Alecia. She invited me to a birthday party for one of her friends. When Steve walked into the room and we were introduced we liked each other immediately. I felt this very strong sense that there was something different and very special about this handsome man. Later that evening I told my best friend that I had just met the man of my dreams, but I wasn't sure I would ever see him again! But then I was invited over to his house to play cards, then out for lunch the next day, then on a Saturday breakfast that lasted all day long. All too quickly it was time for me to leave for Montana, but we both knew it wasn't the end.

September 6th, 2009 is our wedding day. We have had a blast planning the details of our wedding day, but even more fun preparing for our life together. We signed our first lease (I move in July 1st!), found some basic furniture, and got a joint checking/savings account and have started budgeting together. We are both passionate about marriage and family and love to dream about what God might have in store for us. If the Lord blesses us in this way, we positively cannot wait to be parents! What a true treasure to raise children with the man I adore. We don't know where God will lead us, but whether here or on the other side of the world we will be together. Marriage will be a challenge, we are sure, but we look forward to how God will draw us closer to Himself through it. And we pray that our marriage will be a blessing to others and that it will point people to Jesus.

A couple of weeks ago our friend Matthew took some engagement photos of us. Here are some of them!

Joy Unspeakable

The Lord has blessed me beyond words with a man after His own heart... a man that I have spent a majority of my life praying for and longing to meet. I will write the whole story soon, but for now I wanted to post a picture taken just minutes after Steve asked me to be his wife! We're looking at dates in early September or the end of August. I CANNOT WAIT to be Mrs. Cross!!!

Keep the Conscience Clause!!!

You may have heard about President Obama's plan to rescind the Conscience Clause, which was put into place by President Bush to protect medical professionals who are pro-life. If Obama overturns this decision, pro-life doctors, nurses, etc. will all be required by law to participate in abortion procedures even though it completely violates our beliefs. As an RN this will directly effect my future career, as I would never be able to work at a job where participating in an abortion would be a possibility. The announcement was made on March 6, 2009, and the White House gave a 30-day opportunity for people to speak out about this issue. There are only a few days left for all of us who believe in the sanctity of human life to make our opinions known. Please go to the link below, sign the petition and spread the word!

http://beheardproject.com

Thank you and God bless!

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:13-16