Thursday, January 15, 2009

Happy Thursday

Uff da. Anyone else say that a lot? Oh well, I guess I do. Though not so obvious in North Dakota where Norwegian slang is the norm, it seems a little out of place here in Colorado. Try as I might, it's a habit that's not going away any time soon.

My new job started on Monday and boy do I have a lot to learn. I've switched from neonatal intensive care and 12-hour rotating shifts to home health care and semi-normal hours. When I was looking for jobs this one just flew out at me. I loved home care in Africa and I knew it would be a good stretch for me and that I would learn oodles. So I'm very excited!! The problem is I know next to nothing about adult nursing. Sarah and I set our own schedule and pace in Africa and were able to just figure things out as we went along. Additionally, with the language barrier we weren't really able to recognize complicated medical diagnoses. We did what we could and prayed a lot. I can handle that! But I think I'd get fired if I just did a coin flip for my patients here. Hmm. Heads, "Maybe I can do something to help you." Tails, "YIKES! You're doomed." Though my coworkers encourage me by saying I can think of these patients as "big babies", I'm not convinced. It's not that I don't have my ducks in a row... I'm just not sure I have any ducks at all. Fortunately there is a really good orientation and I'm trying to spend evenings studying up on my med/surg nursing from back in college days (that makes me feel old). Everyone I work with is wonderful and to top things off I get a company Jeep! Plus I enjoy getting to be out and about in the beauty of the Rocky Mountains every day rather than cooped up in a hospital. I'll really miss the babies though.

It's Happy Thursday! Around here that means there is a new episode of The Office on tv and we're all going to watch it together. At the moment I have Jeopardy on in the background. I always listen to the very top question because sometimes... sometimes, mind you, I know that answer to that one. During the rest of the show I try to tune out.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Too Much Cuteness

These are Steve's nieces and nephews. They are off the charts!!!!

Kenzie is 7 months old and is definitely an angel baby.

Caden is 2 1/2 and proudly showing off his Christmas sweater.

This is Nathaniel who is brand new as of Thanksgiving! In this picture he was scowling because he was gassy. I'm not sure what my excuse was... perhaps the same??

Autumn is quite the character! In addition to many other games, this talented 4-year-old trounced me in Wii bowling. I mean, it wasn't even CLOSE! Yikes.

Autumn LOVES her Uncle Steve. Because of that I managed to find favor in her eyes also:).

This is totally unrelated to Christmas and Steve's nieces and nephews, but it's a fun photo and I'm very excited about my new home in the mountains of Colorado!

Monday, January 05, 2009

The "L-Bomb" :)

A quick glance at years past reveals that New Year's Eve has never been too exciting for me. I usually anticipate an amazing night and wind up disappointed. This year was different! Our group of friends here in the Springs decided to go to Cowboys... a club which, as the name implies, plays country music and encourages line dancing. Hoorah!

We started the evening by tacking an exhaustive list of restaurants in Colorado Springs to the refrigerator and taking turns tossing a green marker at it to narrow down our options. In case you're confused it's quite logical really... whatever restaurant the marker left a print on would be added to the list of options. After a lot of giggling, we finally wrote the name of the restaurant we all wanted to go to in HUGE letters at the bottome of the list, then threw the marker until we hit it.

After a great dinner we split up into our various vehicles and headed for Cowboys. During the drive I was talking passionately with Steve about a situation I felt was unjust, and what we should do about it. He was trying to get a word in edgewise and I just wouldn't let him do so. After one particulary blatant interuption, Steve (who rarely gets frustrated), said... "GINNA." I stopped, suddenly realizing what I was doing. Not only that, but I also felt an overwhelming conviction that interrupting people is something I do a lot when I am worked up. Just that morning I had been praying that the Lord would reveal my flaws so that I can work on them. He was answering my prayer and I immediately proceeded to burst into tears. "Do I do that a lot?" I asked Steve through my sobs, while in my mind quickly making a list of everyone I know so that I could call and apologize for my rudeness. "Because I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT!" Steve very gently replied that though I can occasionally cut people off, he knew it was unintentional and emphasised that we all have things we need to work on. When he parked, he pulled me close to him and started to pray for me. When he finished (tears were still streaming down my cheeks) he took my face in his hands and said, "I love you." Oh boy, if that didn't really open the floodgates. It was completely unexpected! Granted, there have been many times in the last several months when I've seen love in his eyes and thought, "He loves me... why doesn't he just say it?" But he wanted to wait for the perfect time and was praying that God would show him when it came.

Really there could not have been a better time for Steve to tell me what was in his heart. Since he chose to speak those wonderful words NOT at a time when I was feeling particularly love-able (in fact, I was feeling like scum) I truly knew that he meant it. I felt completely transparent before him and at the same time marvelously safe. In that moment I also felt God whispering His love to me and knew that I had been in this place of transparency and safety with God many times before. The times when I am convicted of the ugly sin in my life are quite often the times when I really hear and receive God's love. They are also the times when I know without a shadow of a doubt that I don't deserve it. I know I don't deserve God's love, and I know I don't deserve Steve's love either. Both are indescribable showers of blessing for me... a very broken and flawed woman. Day by day God is healing the brokenness, and with His help I am working on the flaws. But what a wonderful thing to know in the middle of the journey that I am loved. And so are YOU.

P.S. After the balling slowed to a manageable stream, I also told Steve how much I love him. With all my heart.