Teeth (Part 1)

Yesterday I could be found at the dentist for what was a long overdue cleaning and exam. It wasn't that I haven't thought about going earlier, it's just that after getting home I had to wait until I had insurance, then had to find a dentist, then wait for an appointment. Even though it had been nearly two years since I had been seen, there was not a nervous thought in my mind. I fully expected the visit to go just as every visit to the dentist has gone. I sit in the chair, everyone tells me what beautiful teeth I have, and I smile and say, "why thank you!" As the hygienist was doing her horrid business of scraping my teeth with that awful pick, she commented that there was very little plaque built up considering how long it had been between cleanings. Fantastic. Then the dentist came in and I waited for the good news. I was shocked to instead hear the words, "you have cavities." Groan. I couldn't believe it! But wait, because it gets worse. She proceeded to tell me that my mouth was full of tiny cavities between my teeth. Not one or two... or even five or ten! No, I have a grand total of thirteen cavities. A full baker's dozen!! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but quickly headed towards the latter when I thought of how much this was going to cost. Fortunately, insurance will cover half but it's still quite the ouch. The well-meaning hygienist reassured me that they do, in fact, offer a payment plan. Oh terrific, that's just what I need... a monthly payment on my teeth.

All day I have been analyzing this news and trying to pinpoint the culprit. Granted, I don't floss very often, but I never have flossed and never had trouble!! Sarah flosses religiously and is always telling me I really should too. I smugly reply that it isn't necessary. Oops. It looks like Sarah was right again! Phooey. Note to self... must start flossing. Could my beloved toothpaste have anything to do with it? I love Crest Cinnamon Rush SO much that I brought enough tubes with me overseas to last the entire year. I have been brushing with it for about 2 ½ years total... it could be a coincidence. But soon the bearer of bad news was prescribing even more bad news... prescription fluoride toothpaste. Gross! Giving up my toothpaste makes me sad, but I'm determined to do whatever it takes to never get a cavity again. How hard can it be to floss once a day? And if no more soda means healthier teeth, then dang-it I'll quit drinking soda. I guess all of us non-flossing soda drinkers just need to "stick to our guns"... or, stick to our GUMS!! Just a little dental humor there for you.

Anyway, I'm grossed out. This situation might call for the writing of a bluesy country song. I could call it "Go Away Tooth Decay", or something nifty like that. Anyone have ideas for a tune? Thirteen cavities. Good grief.