Saturday, December 15, 2007

"You love Africa."

After 8 days of being sick in bed, I finally made the long journey last night down my stairs to Rachel's apartment for some much needed fellowship:). As she is so faithful to do, Rach asked how I was doing. I am not good at answering this question in short format, so started once again on a drawn-out tangent of my current state of mind. She interrupted me to say, much too matter-of-factly, "G. You love Africa." The simplicity of her statement caught me off guard, but I had to admit that yes, I do. I also had to admit that I have been trying desperately to forget how much I love Africa, and embrace with all of my heart the culture in which I find myself. What is even more sad is the moderate success I have found at doing just that. Since it just seems too painful to "care" too much, it makes more sense to just stay busy going about life and forget about the things that used to break my heart and drive me to DO something.

This morning I watched "The Pursuit of Happyness", a movie (based on a true story) about a father who is trying desperately to catch a break and provide for his young son. I saw this movie in the theatre in March, while in South Africa for the Hands at Work International conference. After seeing it then, I was distressed for days. How could it be that there were honest people in the world sleeping in public restrooms while burning the candle at both ends, yet STILL unable to make it? How could it be that four rich people in a convertible could just drive by a line of hundreds of the homeless waiting in line for a free room, and not even blink in their direction? I was flabbergasted and broken by it. Today I watched that movie again. I found it sad, but had very little other emotion. Nothing to make me want to change my lifestyle or lose any sleep. It was a "shame". But, after all, things turned out alright in the end with no input from me.

So, maybe I have succeeded in my quest to be happier in my current situation and think less about painful things. But this is a success that shames me, and I want no more part in it. With tears in my eyes last night I admitted to Rachel what she knew already. I would give ANYTHING to be back on a plane to Mozambique. My original plan was to go back in January, but the Lord has made it clear that I am so stay here for now. And I know that He is able and WILL work this out for good. I'm excited to see what He does... and am hoping that someday that return will be a reality.

Merry Christmas, my friends! Amidst all of the hustle and bustle and trying to stay on top of all of the festivities in the "spirit of the season", lets try to spend time focused on the REAL reason we celebrate. And as we say "Peace on Earth", lets PRAY for just that, and look for ways we can help to bring it...

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